Oh man oh man oh man. Girlfriend you have described what it feels like to be 37 with no veritable vision for the future. Why is it so damn bloody Lindsey. Just fcking why. This is perhaps the only article that communicates the angst I feel about the ticking time bomb of my uterus. I'm not going to lie your article has provided me with a safe space to feel it.
Odd thing to say but thank you. Thank you for sharing your pain.
I'm at a better place with all of this (I think...who the fck knows. I'm consuming my 2nd scoop of belgian chocolate chip ice cream as I write this so it may unravel by the 3rd)
Could not be moreeeeeee in tune with your comment lol. Thank you for taking time to write it. The angst is just so real, coursing through my veinssssss. Making me think about my age at every turn - it's frustrating. I'm fine in theory being 35, just this damn uterus. Thanks for creating a connection here. Let's stay in touch PLEASE! DM me anytime!
Ohhhh how I do so hope that is true. it has been a wincing process I tell you. But, I imagine one day I'll look back and view it all differently :) Thank you.
This is touching. This book could help you understand! How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Stosny and Love. Don’t want to say anymore. Too afraid.
Oh my love. There is way too my judgement in these words. Can I be a voice standing up for you here? I hope that’s okay… you CAN have the life you want. And having kids doesn’t have to be so boring. You took a chance on love and I see nothing wrong with that. And let me gently point out that The “safe” choices don’t often pan out. There are plenty of heartbreaking, frustrating stories about women who did the thing, moved to the stable place by schools, raised the kids and then their husband cheated or left them or, worse, died! Safe choices are not guaranteed. Nothing is in life. I’d also argue a single man wanted to have kids isn’t in the suburbs either 😂 but that’s also my assumption. I’d probably a guess a metropolitan area with lots of opportunities to meet a partner, but I digress.
I feel for you because when I was exactly 34 some BOMB went off in my head and I needed to get pregnant, like, right the fuck now. It was super jarring to my husband and I was so in my head it took a long time. As a sane person I now recognize that shit was my lizard brain, a very primal inside part of me I had no access to rationalize with so I’m sorry yours is coming out. But, again, as a person who also has a more nomadic lifestyle, I found my dude and we had kids… and I got pregnant with my second on accident and most of the pregnancy we were in a place I didn’t have insurance. All that to say, we kept moving around with our plans which admittedly are a bit more “calculated” nomadic than your super exciting lifestyle sounds like, but it’s nomadic by normal ppl standards! It’s possible to find a man who isn’t a fuck off and wants kids but also doesn’t want them in suburbia. Who wants to move as much as possible with kids. We’re all out there!
Please don’t bash your choices or let your loved ones well intentioned judgements deter you from your inner sense of adventure. They mean well but it’s up to you to take away whatever from this exchange and do something that feels right to you next. I would hate that lesson to be that you fucked up, now go be “boring” somewhere and wait for a man. Please tap into possibility! You mentioned community and I’d start there. There are other adventurous souls… for examples, my husband and I did transformational training and that community was a soothing balm filled with nomads. Find your people. They’re out there 🧡🧡🧡
I hear so much judgment from others filtered into your writing of this piece. That is not a criticism, but rather a tone I must be attuned to because I do it to myself as well. I filter my life through what I think are the judgments of others. I hope you have children, because you are a beautiful person and your desire to be a mother is beautiful too. But you have done nothing "wrong" in making the choices you've made. You live your life bravely and unconventionally, in ways other people would never have the courage to. Just as you came across this most recent relationship, you will come across another. You may have children, or you may not. But my hope is that you never resign yourself to a life that isn't truly what you desire because it fits the strategy other people are telling you is the right one. I'm wishing you peace and comfort as you go through this breakup. And I hope you know how you've inspired me in my own recovery to make bold choices, however outlandish they may seem to others. You will have that life you dream of, full of color and love and music. Keep creating it and seeking it the way you always have. Just give yourself some time to heal first.
Hi Lindsey. It was so good to see you and I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more.
I have read your articles—-love your writing—-have so much wanted to leave a comment but haven’t wanted to inject my feelings on you.
You have had a life that most people seldom get to have. I’m afraid my message is just more of the same that you’ve heard from older people. I send you this message out of love and caring.
There is nothing like being a mother but there is so much more to being a grandma. I have enjoyed my grandkids(ages 29-26-23-20) thro the years and the memories made are overwhelming. They continue to tell me to this day that the memories they’ve had with me over the years are so special to them. It’s the same house they come to, the same holiday memories every year, the same traditions they can count on. I haven’t been able to travel with them (I’d like to) But, I can tell they cherish the same ole, same ole. Just sayin ——-I’m 86 now, don’t know how long I have left, but we all have our memories of doing the same things in the same house, and it doesn’t seem to get old . This certainly will seem dull to you, but children love traditions, and sometimes just knowing that nothing will change it’s important to them . I am here for them plus all my old ways.
Lindsey, I wis you well, and all the luck in the world, and I live off your travels.
It’s okay too if you don’t want kids you feel pressure to say that or feel that because that’s what healing from an eating disorder is supposed to look like.
As someone who’s been to treatment a few times, I cannot tell you how many times I heard, you need to heal so you can salvage your chances of having kids.
Now I’m happily married and childless by choice and do monthlong international vacations every year (and have an intense government job).
But also, I believe you if you say you truly want children. I just challenge you to examine your desires to keep being nomadic vice your desire to bring lives into this world.
God, the music thing is so real with grief. Pretty sure that's when I got into the true crime podcasts properly too! I would tell you not to overthink but we both know that ain't gonna change anything; so I'll just let you know that I love you very much and I'm certain that you deserve every good thing which is coming your way, whatever that looks like. And if you ever see me hang a 'live, laugh, love' please feel free to give me a slap!
Thank you for the reminder. Break ups are so universal - we all stumble on anyhow. I appreciate the internet support :) Thanks for taking the time to write this.
I filled a few books with that kind of pain once.
It makes better stories than the rings ever did.
Keep writing .
That is certainly the outcome I hope for as well. Thank you.
Oh man oh man oh man. Girlfriend you have described what it feels like to be 37 with no veritable vision for the future. Why is it so damn bloody Lindsey. Just fcking why. This is perhaps the only article that communicates the angst I feel about the ticking time bomb of my uterus. I'm not going to lie your article has provided me with a safe space to feel it.
Odd thing to say but thank you. Thank you for sharing your pain.
I'm at a better place with all of this (I think...who the fck knows. I'm consuming my 2nd scoop of belgian chocolate chip ice cream as I write this so it may unravel by the 3rd)
Ok whew. I'm done! Lol. Stay strong friend :)
Could not be moreeeeeee in tune with your comment lol. Thank you for taking time to write it. The angst is just so real, coursing through my veinssssss. Making me think about my age at every turn - it's frustrating. I'm fine in theory being 35, just this damn uterus. Thanks for creating a connection here. Let's stay in touch PLEASE! DM me anytime!
Good god, I loved this. I part winced at the searing honesty & right up to the last line, yearned for the 2005 movie happy ending.
But, maybe the best is yet to come.
Lindsey, bravo sister. Bravo.
Ohhhh how I do so hope that is true. it has been a wincing process I tell you. But, I imagine one day I'll look back and view it all differently :) Thank you.
Thanks for being so vulnerable here, Lindsey.
This is touching. This book could help you understand! How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Stosny and Love. Don’t want to say anymore. Too afraid.
Oh my love. There is way too my judgement in these words. Can I be a voice standing up for you here? I hope that’s okay… you CAN have the life you want. And having kids doesn’t have to be so boring. You took a chance on love and I see nothing wrong with that. And let me gently point out that The “safe” choices don’t often pan out. There are plenty of heartbreaking, frustrating stories about women who did the thing, moved to the stable place by schools, raised the kids and then their husband cheated or left them or, worse, died! Safe choices are not guaranteed. Nothing is in life. I’d also argue a single man wanted to have kids isn’t in the suburbs either 😂 but that’s also my assumption. I’d probably a guess a metropolitan area with lots of opportunities to meet a partner, but I digress.
I feel for you because when I was exactly 34 some BOMB went off in my head and I needed to get pregnant, like, right the fuck now. It was super jarring to my husband and I was so in my head it took a long time. As a sane person I now recognize that shit was my lizard brain, a very primal inside part of me I had no access to rationalize with so I’m sorry yours is coming out. But, again, as a person who also has a more nomadic lifestyle, I found my dude and we had kids… and I got pregnant with my second on accident and most of the pregnancy we were in a place I didn’t have insurance. All that to say, we kept moving around with our plans which admittedly are a bit more “calculated” nomadic than your super exciting lifestyle sounds like, but it’s nomadic by normal ppl standards! It’s possible to find a man who isn’t a fuck off and wants kids but also doesn’t want them in suburbia. Who wants to move as much as possible with kids. We’re all out there!
Please don’t bash your choices or let your loved ones well intentioned judgements deter you from your inner sense of adventure. They mean well but it’s up to you to take away whatever from this exchange and do something that feels right to you next. I would hate that lesson to be that you fucked up, now go be “boring” somewhere and wait for a man. Please tap into possibility! You mentioned community and I’d start there. There are other adventurous souls… for examples, my husband and I did transformational training and that community was a soothing balm filled with nomads. Find your people. They’re out there 🧡🧡🧡
I hear so much judgment from others filtered into your writing of this piece. That is not a criticism, but rather a tone I must be attuned to because I do it to myself as well. I filter my life through what I think are the judgments of others. I hope you have children, because you are a beautiful person and your desire to be a mother is beautiful too. But you have done nothing "wrong" in making the choices you've made. You live your life bravely and unconventionally, in ways other people would never have the courage to. Just as you came across this most recent relationship, you will come across another. You may have children, or you may not. But my hope is that you never resign yourself to a life that isn't truly what you desire because it fits the strategy other people are telling you is the right one. I'm wishing you peace and comfort as you go through this breakup. And I hope you know how you've inspired me in my own recovery to make bold choices, however outlandish they may seem to others. You will have that life you dream of, full of color and love and music. Keep creating it and seeking it the way you always have. Just give yourself some time to heal first.
Hi Lindsey. It was so good to see you and I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more.
I have read your articles—-love your writing—-have so much wanted to leave a comment but haven’t wanted to inject my feelings on you.
You have had a life that most people seldom get to have. I’m afraid my message is just more of the same that you’ve heard from older people. I send you this message out of love and caring.
There is nothing like being a mother but there is so much more to being a grandma. I have enjoyed my grandkids(ages 29-26-23-20) thro the years and the memories made are overwhelming. They continue to tell me to this day that the memories they’ve had with me over the years are so special to them. It’s the same house they come to, the same holiday memories every year, the same traditions they can count on. I haven’t been able to travel with them (I’d like to) But, I can tell they cherish the same ole, same ole. Just sayin ——-I’m 86 now, don’t know how long I have left, but we all have our memories of doing the same things in the same house, and it doesn’t seem to get old . This certainly will seem dull to you, but children love traditions, and sometimes just knowing that nothing will change it’s important to them . I am here for them plus all my old ways.
Lindsey, I wis you well, and all the luck in the world, and I live off your travels.
Love you lots
Linda Hall
It’s okay too if you don’t want kids you feel pressure to say that or feel that because that’s what healing from an eating disorder is supposed to look like.
As someone who’s been to treatment a few times, I cannot tell you how many times I heard, you need to heal so you can salvage your chances of having kids.
Now I’m happily married and childless by choice and do monthlong international vacations every year (and have an intense government job).
But also, I believe you if you say you truly want children. I just challenge you to examine your desires to keep being nomadic vice your desire to bring lives into this world.
God, the music thing is so real with grief. Pretty sure that's when I got into the true crime podcasts properly too! I would tell you not to overthink but we both know that ain't gonna change anything; so I'll just let you know that I love you very much and I'm certain that you deserve every good thing which is coming your way, whatever that looks like. And if you ever see me hang a 'live, laugh, love' please feel free to give me a slap!
Thank you for the reminder. Break ups are so universal - we all stumble on anyhow. I appreciate the internet support :) Thanks for taking the time to write this.